Sunday, July 23, 2017

Letters to my Children

I went onto blogger to start a new blog a few days ago.  I've had a few months with this one deleted and I realized I had a new focus with which to write.  As I logged in to claim the new domain, there was the option to Un-delete this blog.  I had no idea!  I was happy to do so, because what has bothered me the most is not being able to search my own recipes on the internet.  So here are the recipes, again, yay :).

I was going to name the blog Letters to my Children, because that is what I feel led to write.  I'm at a stage where that is what matters.  Like journals from pioneer grandmothers I want a telling of what I've survived, what has had meaning to  me, and what my years of life have realized.

When I sat down today those prolific lessons weren't running through my brain, so I'll save them for a another time.  I just wanted to say hello, and what I'm doing back.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

It all started with Pink

When I went on my hairdyeing spree a couple of years ago, it started simply because I had always wondered...what would it look like if my hair was PINK?

Monday, March 27, 2017

10 Bob hairstyles

It's gonna be the summer of BOB!!!

Just kidding, maybe more like the fall, considering how long my hair takes to grow...

Emotions in the physical body

The first time I went for a massage, I hid my silent sobs as emotion started to drain out of my back muscles.  I wasn't particularly emotional going into the appointment, just tired as usual since I'd had my third baby a few months back.  My body hurt like crazy and I found a massage therapist to take me in.  The emotions that were dredged as she sunk her elbow deep into a muscle were hurtful words in a friendship and also forgiveness and a relief of letting go of the tightness of that hurt.

I walked out of that office that day simply amazed at the emotional work that had taken place.  What was hidden in my muscles?  It was fascinating, and that forgiveness was peaceful and free.  I was so amazed by this that I scheduled several more massages with the same therapist.  Not all had an emotional release element, but one other did.  Once I moved away from that town, I had to give up those amazing massages, and a number of other therapists I tried just didn't have that affect.

I was thinking of this mind body connection recently as I've been fascia-blasting.  I learned about it through a facebook ad, and then discussing it with other women in the products' facebook group.  It's interesting stuff.  I get a little weirded out when people start claiming it is curing random things, but as far as just releasing fascia I've found it beneficial, so I try to ignore the placebo effect type rantings.  For me what I've noticed is pulling apart or breaking (?) the fascia releases some of my arthritis pain.

Oh, but what I came here to write about--emotions!  The weirdest think about breaking up the fascia is the emotions that get released, most negative.  Why or how am I storing emotions in my body?  And is that why I am fat?  Am I holding hurt like a squishy pillow against my organs?  So freaking weird.  Anyway, I'm curious how that is related to the same instance I had 7ish years ago in a massage.  My theory is either she was breaking up fascia with the deep massage and the fascia held the emotions, or the reverse.  Perhaps its muscle holding it and I've gotten into the muscles with my fascia blaster the way she did the massage.  If you have studied anything like this and have insights, drop me a line, I'm curious!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

My Brain, My mag

I know I had the idea for this post this morning, and the details of what I was going to write about have become fuzzy.  It was about church (the mormon church, of which I am a member) and faith transitions and theology and other's thoughts and my own, etc.....

Because of the crazy scary trolls I seemed to incite last year, facebook has become not so safe a space, so my posts are scanty and quickly removed.  I had a time where someone else was logging into my own account daily! and I was changing the password just as fast.  So far, I seem to have locked that down, but I removed everything and just don't have trust to put my life on there much more.  There is something shady shady going on with either the government or people trying to support them, or leftover issues from the election.  I DON'T KNOW.  All I know is somehow facebook is infiltrated and I pissed them off with a picture I posted.  Imma kinda lay low from that space until whatever crimes and collusion are sorted.

But...and the point I'm getting to, is I still read/see/learn things from people there that affect my thinking.

One example is an Ensign (mormon magazine) article that upset a lot of my friends and they've been discussing it.  That started my train of thought, because truth be told I let that subscription expire probably 3 years ago and never looked back.  I get anxiety FROM my church and that is one of the ways.  I like the church sooo much better when I don't read the to-do lists and shame fests that whatever writers ooze into print.  Those writers are just folks like me, and honestly their style of spirituality seems to awaken the opposite in me.  And that's ok.

I write here about my spirituality and more than one person has contacted me by email to disagree.  Ha!  And this is just a one woman blog.  There's a major authoritarianism faction in active mormonism that I think keeps official publications from too much critique like that, so I guess my blog would be much easier to check.  But my point is, those writers have no more access to God than I, and in my new witchy ol' hag stage of life, I question EVERYTHING.  So, I feel just dandy disagreeing with most of that magazine.  Done with it.  Done.  Ahhhhh, refreshing breath.

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